The closer the departure date gets, the clearer becomes the realization that I will be away from home for an entire 5 months. I'm feeling sentimental about the dishes that have been drying in the sink for weeks (they're very dry), and other domestic things like that. I will be a domestic orphan for longer than I've ever been before. So why am I contributing to my self-serving online journal instead of seeking quality time with my friends and family? I don't know.

Exams and parents and birthday and farewells and registration and The Cold and Cough are all becoming a bit overwhelming. I'm not sure what to concentrate on from one moment to the next. More nog.

I wish I was more moved. Since high school, I haven't delved into any particular music or felt especially insecure about myself. It seems like things have just been very up front the last couple of years. I think that's what I'm seeking with this trip. Some trouble. Something to force me to think and to find comfort within myself. Something to isolate me, and what's more isolating than a country packed with people who don't know you or care. A whole country. Thousands upon thousands of strangers speaking in strange accents. Millions of busy, anonymous, potentially malicious British men and women and in-betweens. Everyday facing the possibility that someone might take my wallet, or steal my cab, or knock me out and take my wallet AND my cab, or knock me out throw my naked body into a vacant alleyway, take advantage of me, beat me to a pulp, take my shoes, my wallet and THEN my cab! Sorry mom. (more nog)

Or maybe I'm just seeking a little passion, some environmental beauty, a people with remarkably different sensibilities, and stronger nog with an anglo twist. I haven't needed anything in a long time, and maybe I want to feel the need for home, or the need to keep moving, or the need to use a bathroom in the middle of a foreign city where I don't speak the language. I joke, but these are all serious concerns.

I am incredibly excited about this trip. I'm a bit nervous, and a bit emotionally wrought, but I know this will be the best thing that's ever happened to me, even if I do die.